I’ve probably started this entry 8 different times over the last hour.
There’s no accurate way to describe what I’ve gone through in the last 3 months, and no way for you to experience the same thing. There’s no need for me to dramatically spell out the opportunities I’ve been bestowed by my training and teachers. Vanity shames me, and therefore part of my process is to restrict this voice. There’s no urgency for you to believe in my process.
But I do believe this existence was made special for us, as unique individuals, to navigate, flow within, stagnate within, achieve within, experience disbelief and nihilism within, feel pain, triumph, sorrow, boredom, and all the other platitudes.
We aren’t going to receive some insurmountable task until our final.
We aren’t going to be forced into these tasks, merely presented with them. They are serendipitous opportunities: magic.
I’ve been presented with a task this year, and even though I said “yes” about 10 months ago, I’m now reminded that changing big stuff isn’t fun, it’s weird and uncertain. It’s a chilled, overcast day, slumping in the woods, when no one’s around to listen to the achievements of the day you had before.
And still, bodywork through the lens of Structural Integration has opened up my life. In class, the challenges of assessing posture and mobility, mastering the “hook” in the tissues, and prescribing the right movement within each technique, those things are all valuable, but the parallel opportunities that seemed to appear out of the bleakness of my personal life were nothing short of magic.
Relationships constitute structure. In class, we’re drawn into the intimate comparisons and contrasts between postural holding points or lack of support. We’re drawn into resources we have available within the therapeutic relationship, both physically, energetically, and interactively.
And of course, as is expected with magic, parallels emerged. Relationships with other selves, and my own self were brought into question. Where are the strengths in my relationships with others? Where do I have support from others and who truly loves me? How has my holding pattern in relationship mirrored my relationship with myself and my inner facets?
These discrepant complexes were paralleled within the limitations of my body’s structure. I didn’t know that. I still don’t understand that, and I’m not drawing a literal connection. I’m referencing two separate systems that are both, what I would call, “me.”
I’m humbled by the invitation. I’m reminded of the absence of grace in healing, and somehow the chaos and disarray is reassured by my own desperation to persist. Through that desperation, we decide to shape our change.
My pain, my body and structure have changed, and will continue to change, but beyond that, I think my beliefs about my own limitations have changed. My understanding of where I could exist has shifted, and has been bestowed the opportunity.
Your experience may be entiretly different, and I only ask that it be a unique process for you, that you honor it, and that you honor your choices within that process.
The 3-series consists of 3, 90-minute sessions, about a week apart. These sessions are aimed at our goals, though also individually follow a template of: session 1- balancing the legs and pelvic girdle> Session 2- balancing the arms and shoulder girdle> And Session 3- connecting these girdles with the spine, and finally picking up any missing pieces.
This work is born of Structural Integration, of which I am training in, but is not Structural Integration, per se, as it is not a 10 or 12-series.
That being said, the 3-Series is only a taste of what Structural Integration can mean.
It may cut some corners, it may be far from perfect, but in 8 days, my life has been imbued with magic. There’s no urgency for you to believe in my process.
To schedule your own process, see my booking page in the site menu.